Having a successful relationship and thriving career is Lisa Bilyeu’s specialty. Her show, Women of Impact puts the spotlight on incredible women who have achieved success, and it’s where Bilyeu shares life lessons and tips that she’s learned throughout her journey as a wife, entrepreneur, and author.
Bilyeu is the President of Impact Theory, and co-founder of the billion dollar company Quest Nutrition, and she’s done it all with her partner and husband, Tom Bilyeu.
Bilyeu says that when it comes to relationships, they are never easy, and marriages are harder than most would imagine. Divorce rates are soaring in the United States, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce according to 2022 statistics. But don’t let those numbers scare you just yet. It’s still possible to achieve the love you desire, especially if you have a few tips up your sleeve that can lead you to success.
According to Lisa, the most important part of any relationship is choosing the right partner.
Bilyeu and her husband have been together for over twenty years. They are best friends, business partners, and have each other’s backs … But how did she know he was “the one” worth sacrificing for?
Tip # 1: Selection Matters
Unless you’ve lived under a rock your entire life, you are probably aware that nobody is perfect. No two people are the same, and each will offer different things in a relationship. There will be someone out there who has traits that you’ll love, and someone out there who has traits that will have you running in the other direction.
Pay attention, Bilyeu says, because “The person you choose to be with makes all the difference. It’s not to say they have to be perfect, it’s not to say they check all of your boxes, but it is absolutely to say that who you select makes a difference.”
For example, an avid traveller who loves exploring nature – meeting someone who prefers to stay inside all year round with their nose in a book,may not be the right person for you, (sorry not sorry).
Tip #2: Have Open Communication
If you’ve ever been involved in “he said/she said” drama, then my friend, this tip is for you.
Open communication is about being honest and vulnerable, especially when it’s hard. It means effectively sharing your feelings, opinions and expectations without the fear of being judged. Open communication builds trust, and is an important part of any healthy relationship.
“Be vulnerable with your partner, show your weaknesses, show your vulnerabilities. That builds trust. And honestly, a relationship without trust isn’t a relationship,” Bilyeu says. “I think the more areas you have, discussed, and agreed-upon rules of engagement, the better off you’re gonna be,” she adds.
Tip #3: Be Aware Of Self Sabotage
Self-sabotaging can be caused by various different factors, such as poor self esteem or trust issues, and it can take form in different ways as well, like picking unnecessary fights or being overly jealous.
If you want to have a successful relationship, you have to be aware of your tendency to self sabotage, if that’s something you do.
Two tips Bilyeu shares for when you find yourself sabotaging your relationship, is to write down what triggered you in that moment, reflect on it, and explore your feelings with no judgement. Afterwards, communicate with your partner about what exactly triggered you, to prevent a future argument from coming up.
Tip #4: Grow Together
Change is inevitable in any relationship, and it’s important to experience it together. It’s good to grow individually, such as in your career, mindset, or in other areas, but to grow together is equally as important, and more often than not,actually happens organically.
If you are with someone who challenges you in a positive way, encourages you to go after your goals, and likes to see you succeeding, all of those are signs of a healthy and unbreakable relationship. Bilyeu says that “It won’t happen by accident. If you want to stay aligned you have to work at it. Period.”
Tip #5: Arguments Are Unavoidable
If you are in a relationship with someone and you don’t argue, then it’s safe to assume that something is definitely wrong,
Spending a lot of time with a particular person can give rise to disagreements, and it’s completely natural. Communicating about the argument is key to “not letting the dust settle.” What Bilyeu means by this; is not sweeping arguments under the rug. Talk about them, and resolve them otherwise they build up like dust and become more difficult to clean.
But be sure to do it when you’re “emotionally sober,” a term Bilyeu is synonymous with.
This means discussing issues when you’re not emotional, when the emotion has passed and calm has set in. “You need to get out the metaphoric caffeine and gain emotional sobriety so you can deal with the situation with calm, ease and clarity,” Bilyeu says.
At the end of it all, open communication, honesty, and trust, are fundamental to any relationship, even the one we have with ourselves.
The mission of the podcast is to empower listeners to become the hero of their own lives, something that Bilyeu has managed to do because of her adaptability and drive to transform her life. Radical Confidence teaches you 10 no-BS life lessons that can help you become the hero of your own life. Pre-order a copy of the book today.