In the complex landscape of love and relationships, human connection can be both deeply fulfilling and profoundly painful. For many women, a relationship with a narcissistic partner can leave lasting emotional wounds. But what if healing was not only possible but could lead to a stronger, more empowered self? A #1 best-selling Author, Mindset Coach, Holistic Nutritionist, and Integrative Nutrition Health Coach Janna Johnson guides women on a transformative journey, helping them break free from narcissistic relationships and rediscover their authentic selves. With compassion and expertise, Janna supports her clients through self-discovery, healing, and empowerment.
Janna’s path to coaching stemmed from her own experiences and a deep desire to support others. “I’ve been there,” she shares. “I understand the confusion and pain of a narcissistic relationship. But I also know healing is possible.” Her nutrition background is integral to her holistic approach. “Physical and emotional well-being are intertwined,” Janna explains. “Nourishing our bodies creates a foundation for emotional healing.”
Narcissistic behavior often masks deep insecurity. Narcissism can be viewed as a defense mechanism, a way to protect a fragile ego from perceived threats, but it is much more than that. The narcissist projects an inflated sense of self-importance to conceal underlying insecurities and vulnerabilities. This can manifest as a need for constant admiration, a lack of empathy, and manipulative tactics. A narcissist lures one in their web of lies by love bombing you where it seems they truly want to know everything about you and that they really care. However, the real reason is because they must learn your past pains, insecurities, and triggers, so that they know how to hurt you and manipulate you. The moment the narcissist has you “under their spell” they begin showing their true colors but at this point you still believe that they are the person from the “love bombing” stage and they use that to make you think that the reason for their newly disrespectful actions is because of you. This is the beginning of narcissistic abuse. Those on the receiving end often develop their own defense mechanisms, such as denial, rationalization, or codependency, as unconscious strategies to cope with the emotional turmoil.
It’s important to distinguish between narcissism and defense mechanisms. It can be hard to tell the difference between the two, however, narcissism cannot be healed but defense mechanisms can. We all have triggers, stemming from limiting beliefs that are formed in childhood and from painful experiences. Triggers are activated when any words, actions, or experiences remind us of that painful and uncomfortable memory. An unhealed trigger instigates a negative reaction in us that causes us to react in a negative manner. Triggers do not go away but our reaction to them changes once we do the healing. Triggers are either reminders or instigators depending if you have done the inner work or have not. When someone has a defense mechanism their triggers are like a light switch that never goes off. They are constantly triggered and ready to defend themselves at all times causing them to perceive conversations and the actions of others as offensive when the reality is very different. They listen to defend versus listening to understand.
One with a defense mechanism does have empathy but what I call “surface level empathy” which is where empathy only comes easy towards people and situations that are either acquaintances or strangers. The closer the relationship the harder it is for them to feel empathetic. However, empathy is almost non-existent if they feel the person deserves some sort of consequence for any actions that they perceive as offensive.
Narcissists are incapable of any empathy whatsoever. They are incapable of apologizing and taking any responsibility for their actions. They can say the right things but there is no feeling or sincerity with their words and as soon as they do not have to pretend they care, well, they don’t. If you are ever unsure if a person is a narcissist a good test is to simply say no to them or stand up for yourself. They will quickly turn on you and show their true colors. Remember, a narcissist does not care about your feelings, just your reactions to their abusive actions.
Healing from a narcissistic abusive relationship requires a lot of patience, self-discipline, self-love, self-acceptance, and a deep dive into understanding narcissism so that you fully understand the mindset of how they work. It is imperative to know how to communicate with one. Learning about narcissistic personality disorder and the specific tactics used by narcissists empowers you to recognize manipulation and dismantle its hold. I teach that with a narcissist you either “disengage or don’t engage.”
Remember that you are not the problem and you never were. Narcissists are constantly projecting on you. A good mindset shift is knowing that all they accuse you of and say negatively about you is actually them telling you about themselves. A narcissist’s projection is their admissions. Thinking about that when dealing with one is both empowering and comical as you watch them work and desperately try to trigger you. They will suck the energy and life right out of you. The best thing you can do for yourself is to discover who you are, what you like, your hobbies, and become confident in your own thoughts and opinions that were always never allowed in the narcissistic abusive relationship.
The best way to handle these emotional vampires is to be your true authentic self and genuinely happy while not caring 1 bit about them or their life. They are constantly seeking attention so make sure you are not giving it and make sure they never see you triggered by their action.
If you’re ready to embark on your journey of healing and empowerment, Janna Johnson is here to guide you. Learn more about Janna’s coaching programs and resources at ReviveByJanna.com. Remember, you are not alone. Healing is possible, and you deserve a life filled with love, joy, and empowerment.